While we wait for Decent Dave to start with his new employer, here’s a little ditty for newspaper columnists everywhere.
The Ogre does what ogres can,
Deeds quite impossible for Man,
But one prize is beyond his reach:
The Ogre cannot master speech.
About a subjugated plain,
Among its desolate and slain,
The Ogre stalks with hands on hips,
While drivel gushes from his lips.
“Cannot master speech” is a bit wrong, but the drivel part is spot on.